When Your Child is THAT Kid: Public Outings with Your Sensory Child

My child is THAT kid. You know the one. You see them at grocery stores and malls all the time. The child that has thrown themselves on the ground and is screaming at the top of their lungs. Almost every place you go you will see THAT kid. Variations include: the child who has knocks everything off the shelf, the toddler that is smacking and kicking their mother in church, the kid that has opened half the groceries in the cart and is spreading a trail of graham crackers and gummy bears through the store. That’s my daughter folks. Isn’t she cute?

Lily isn’t a brat… at least not most of the time. She rarely behaves like that at home. She doesn’t need medication or a spanking. Lily has a sensory integration disorder (SID) and what she really needs is understanding.

As Lily’s mom, I’ve tried to sit down and imagine what the world must be like for her. To her silk can feel like sandpaper, a light bulb can seem like the sun and soft music can be like an AC/DC concert. Her world is a constant barrage of feelings and noises that she can’t understand.

That’s Lily’s daily life, that’s how she feels in her own home sometimes. Now, imagine taking all those feelings, packing them up and heading to Wal-Mart. Yeah.

If you are the parent of a child with a sensory integration disorder, Wal-Mart is the seventh layer of Hell. If your child is like Lily, you have about five minutes of peaceful shopping while they are overcome with the initial shock-and-awe. After that, all bets are off.

You can either run through the store at full-tilt with a screaming, kicking toddler or your family can wipe on the shower curtain. If you are unsure of which decision to make, there is usually a whole host of people around you that apparently love to give unsolicited advice. Maybe you can ask them.

Since everyone else has probably thrown their two cents at you, here’s mine.

Sunglasses

If your child will leave them on, these are great for reducing the stimulus of bright lights and colors. If they don’t help, you can always put them on yourself to avoid recognition.

CD Walkmans

Load them up with nature sounds or lullabies. Unless you have the world’s most tolerant sensory child, ear-buds aren’t happening. As ridiculous as it may look, the bigger old fashion headphones block out more outside noise. You might want to use them at home a few times so your child gets desensitized to the feel of them.

Once again if these don’t work for your child, at least you can save YOUR sensory system. Be careful though, you might miss all that helpful advice.

Snacks

Remember, the goal here is to give your child’s sensory system one thing to focus on. This is not the time for saltines. Slim-Jims are Lily’s preferred choice, but anything with a concentrated taste (sour or salty) or an strong texture (gummy, chunky or crunchy) may help. For some kids, teeth-grinders in specific, the act of chewing itself will probably help.

Paper/Pencils/Books

This keeps your child’s eyes down and off of all the brightly colored packaging and moving people. Texture books, sticker books, or pop-up books are engaging to more than one sense. If you work with these at home (and you might want to consider it if you don’t already) bring your child’s favorite.

Hugs

Really. As often as you can. If you want to be all mushy-mommy about it, you can believe that those simple acts of reassurance can ward off a sensory integration meltdown. I choose to believe its my love, and not the calming deep pressure, that helps Lily realign. Lily’s occupational therapist even has the good-grace to agree with me to my face.

Stress Balls, Mini-Barbells, and Wrist-Weights

More deep pressure. There are so many of these types of products out there that I wouldn’t begin to pick one.

Hand-Held Video Games

Normally I believe that these were created by Satan himself, but the same thing that gets kids addicted to them may work to keep your child occupied long enough to buy toilet paper. I strongly advise against using these nasty little things at any other time. I only use them with Lily if meltdown is obviously imminent.　　

I asked my husband if he had any advice specifically for dads. He said that if the dad is going to be pushing a cart with a sensory child in the seat, he should probably wear a cup. I'm not sure what he meant by that, but he usually gives pretty good daddy advice.